I know a few different people are going to be at the fair tomorrow. I hope I'm wrong, but my predication is the person I have just recently met in my support group will actually stop in and say hello. Maybe even allow us to do an ID for their new baby. While someone I have known for a very long time is going to not make a point of finding where I am or even saying hello. I could have made a point of telling my dear old friend that she should come by and say hello. I won't. This isn't a test or me saying "ha ha told you she doesn't care..." It's just for this time we aren't where we once were. With all the pictures and status updates lately and past few years of how this person is there for everyone and sharing in their special time. I'm kinda like it would have been really nice if you could have done the same for me. I'm not asking you to go back in time and change what has happened. I'm simply saying look back draw a list, and maybe you will see that you weren't really there for me. It would be nice to hear "If I could go back I would have done things differently and wish I had been there more. I can't go in the past and change what has happened. I can start fresh and want to really be there for you in your new journey on your road to adoption."
I have to accept things and people for what they are and not what I want them to be. Life doesn't always play out the way we would like it to in our head. I can't work on a friendship or relationship all by myself for it takes two to tango. I don't know if you would ever fix it with me because I don't think you get that it's very broken. I keep drifting. Yes accepting you for who you are. Being content with what we once had cause the more time that goes on the more you become a memory......
This wasn't the post I was going for........
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