Keep Your Head Up (Lyrics & Video)

I've been waiting on the sunset
Bills on my mindset
I can't deny they're getting high
Higher than my income
Incomes bread crumbs
I've been trying to survive

The glow that the sun gets
Right around sunset
Helps me realize
This is just a journey
Drop your worries
You are gonna turn out fine.
Oh, you turn out fine.
Fine, oh, you turn out fine.

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
You gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it's hard, know it's hard,
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I've got my hands in my pockets,
Kicking these rocks.
It's kinda hard to watch this life go by.
I'm buying into skeptics,
Skeptics mess with, the confidence in my eyes

I'm seeing all the angles, starts to get tangled
I start to compromise
My life and the purpose.
Is it all worth it?
Am I gonna turn out fine?
Oh, you'll turn out fine.
Fine, oh, you'll turn out fine.

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
You gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it's hard, know it's hard,
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

Only rainbows after rain
The sun will always come again.
It's a circle, circling,
Around again, it comes around again.
I said,

Only rainbows after rain
The sun will always come again.
It's a circle, circling,
Around again, it comes around,

But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
You gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

I know it's hard, know it's hard
To remember sometimes,
But you gotta keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.

Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down, eh.
Keep your head up, oh,
And you can let your hair down.
I said oooh

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

20 things listed
This was our workshop last night based on this book. 
Something to read with the book
 Interesting Website
Suggested books to read for adults and children about adoption
Foster/Adoptive Reading List
Will Update If I find any other websites.

Book To Get "You're not my real mother"

You're Not My Real Mother


Book that was brought up in group and recommended highly.

Hi I'm Hormonal Please Ignore The crying cynical outbursts I present.....

When people discuss their path about adoption or discuss their children I sit back and think "I can't wait for my story. To sit on the other side and beam with delight as I tell the story of meeting my child..." Tonight I found myself on the inside filled with bitterness, a lot of tongue :-P (turn head side ways to see tongue sticking out), bite me, and just yeah cynical. Followed by wanting to cry because I'm just full of emotion. It's a process, and with that process sometimes I process different emotions at the same time. I felt immediate guilt for feeling any negativity as anyone spoke of their children in the beginning, but hey I'm sure if these people encountered obstacles like me they probably had these emotions to. It's okay let it be and move along.


With that I found the rest of the night helpful and immediately listened to tips and tricks to deal with "obstacles" placed before them with their children. From things people say to how to handle what your child will say. Of course I have some anxiety over "birth" parents that I didn't realize until it was pointed out in the workshop. Now I want to cry because my child will want to look for their birth parents and I will have to step back and what if they hurt my child or reject my child. What if they bond and I'm left by the curb because I'm no longer needed. Hey I don't have a child and now we are just jumping the gun their aren't we? If this happens we will cross that bridge when we come to it. I will have many therapists on call and numbers to access so that I can take my issues to them and be a supportive parent and accept that if they feel that need to look them up I'm here for them. I'll be crying in my therapists seat worried on so many levels go over my issues.

OF course to get a child one will have to get approved and over the mountain of paperwork...... So back to reality. Now I want to cry because this paperwork bs still isn't over! Gah gah goo!!!!!!!! Great I'm making baby sounds.

I Need To Finish This (edit me) <== Note to myself

It is beginning to feel more and more like everyone else in the universe is with child. At every turn someone is announcing they are expecting or just having a child. If only it was something in the water or sitting in a green chair. Today after the swirl of announcements I find myself not feeling sad or blue just indifferent. If that even best describes how I am feeling. As I sit here “hold on” by Michael Bubble plays…. “baby not all the plans we made may not work out but I have no doubt even though it’s hard to see I’ve got faith in us and I believe in you and me…” I find that even my ipod which is set to random is trying to inspire me with it’s choice in songs. Thank you ipod I © you. I have on one of my ipods

Random Fact: I had a dream I bought cheesy garlic croutons. The next day I’m making a salad and go in the pantry frustrated I can’t find the croutons. I realize I DREAMED about the croutons and didn’t actually get them. Who does that?

Seriously? We want him to look at the forms we have but will not give him the forms........

I get to work only to discover my cellphone is missing. I forgot to put it in my purse. Silly me. I call my husband who is like superman and gets it here in lightning speed with the dog in the passenger seat. I see that it’s flashing “voicemail” I cringe because this can’t be good. I call the voicemail and guess who? It’s the agency to telling me to call them back and sorry she missed me before work. I call her back thinking oh this should be fun….. The agency representative that I’ve been dealing with for months answers asking me how I am and jumps right into it before I have a chance to mumble good fine indifferent hanging in there. So they had a conference about my case yesterday. Woo who just what you want to hear. I imagine a ton of people in a conference room judging me so on and so forth with a picture on a monitor reading stuff from my “file.” They will not be forwarding the documents and reports to my psychologist who did the evaluation because they are third parties and aren’t able to give my personal information out. I have to get the dr to request the forms that the agency wants him to read in the first place from the facilities directly. By the way they are sending out my withdrawal letter today as they tell me everyday for the past few weeks. I said yes ok the entire time. She said don’t get discouraged. I might have laughed because I feel this is so backwards. My feelings that I’m entitled to have. I’m upset and disappointed that I stayed on top of this for them to turn around in the 11^th hour and give me hurdle after hurdle and hi the agency is the ones holding us up. I don’t believe they will be satisfied when they get the evaluation nothing has satisfied them thus far. Their interest is in the protection of the children. I have to often wondered if it’s more about covering their legal bum. You have to sit back and wonder when will it be enough? When will they be able to check of their boxes and proceed? I again have to leave it to faith and trust the process. As she ends the call she says “stay in touch…” Ummm okay yeah.

Can I also point out that we’ve been going through this so much that some of the forms they requested have expired so I am aware and have the copies but I’m wondering ummm have you really “looked” in my file if you haven’t figured it out yet? I feel like If I wasn't on top of everything as I am this could have gone another way. Who will ever know. I want to record what they say and play it back to them to see if they hear themselves sometimes when they speak.

Just keep pushing on........ 

One other thing.....

I get the feeling they think I was hiding Princeton from them. I didn't explain anything I just stayed on top of things and made sure to give her the phone number. Within a few hours she's calling me saying I have to sign a release. I feel like Rain man with these releases. I'm to fax it back to her. Which is very funny considering a few weeks ago she wanted to come by and have me sign them. Faxing works faster and may speed things up. I do see something wrong with their dates of when I was there, but I'm just going to see how this plays out. Then she asks "did you go anywhere else? Is there anywhere else you didn't tell me about." I think I laughed as if again she was saying "you hid this from me...." I didn't but again I'm not going to explain it. I did warn her that whatever forms she gets from Princeton will say I didn't complete the program. Why? Because I didn't have insurance. That's the issue that's why I was shipped around discharged rejected and all that. Sadly I lost my job in 2004 so I lost what crappy insurance I had when that employer left it's payroll company and went with a different company. Wrote to numerous people who in the end said I wasn't covered by the new payroll company or the old payroll company. I really hope she doesn't call me when she gets the papers and says "you didn't complete the program..." I remind her nicely and patiently that because of insurance reasons they refused to help or treat me any further and I got a phone call on a random day saying "hi we are done buh bye" That may not have been the exact way they phrased it but that's what I heard. Please let this be my last hurdle please please!