Thursday, January 31, 2013
How would I go about adopting, fostering, or foster to adopt through DCP&P f/k/a Dyfs
Welcome to my own version of how to. When my husband and I were first looking into this to find out where to begin was a big challenging. No one knows where to call or where to turn so I put this list together. I have to edit it as something have changed.
Good luck :) and feel free to reach out to me if something isn't clear. I've kept all my cards of who to speak to.
How would I go about adopting, fostering, or foster to adopt through DCP&P f/k/a Dyfs
(1) Register by calling 1-877-NJ Foster to register. Everyone interesting in fostering, adoption, or foster to adopt has to register.
(2) Once you register you will be assigned a Family Recruiter who will send you a memo listing the next orientations sessions. You need to attend one of those sessions.
(3) Once you attend an orientation you will be given a packet of papers that need to be filled out and have to go for fingerprinting. You may not want to date them until the Recruiter or social worker comes out to your place.
(4) Call the Family Recruiter to indicate you are ready for your "walk through." They will just make sure nothing is wrong with your house that would not qualify you from passing the licensing process or home study.
(5) You will be assigned your case worker. Who will do a walk through again pointing out anything that needs to be changed depending on the age group you are interested in. You will be given more papers to fill out, they will go over the papers that you submitted to your Family Recruiter to further explain them see if there is anything you want to change. Make sure you schedule a physical with your doctor. You will meet with your case worker at least 2 additional times.
(6) Have to get ready and possibly change your schedule around for PRIDE training which is 9 sessions for 3 hours a night 2 nights a week.
(7) Finish up your home study and submit all the documentations that you need.
(8) Schedule your home inspection
I don't know what happens from here because i'm only in the PRIDE training section. So again I will update as I myself find out what is next.
Good luck :) and feel free to reach out to me if something isn't clear. I've kept all my cards of who to speak to.
How would I go about adopting, fostering, or foster to adopt through DCP&P f/k/a Dyfs
(1) Register by calling 1-877-NJ Foster to register. Everyone interesting in fostering, adoption, or foster to adopt has to register.
(2) Once you register you will be assigned a Family Recruiter who will send you a memo listing the next orientations sessions. You need to attend one of those sessions.
(3) Once you attend an orientation you will be given a packet of papers that need to be filled out and have to go for fingerprinting. You may not want to date them until the Recruiter or social worker comes out to your place.
(4) Call the Family Recruiter to indicate you are ready for your "walk through." They will just make sure nothing is wrong with your house that would not qualify you from passing the licensing process or home study.
(5) You will be assigned your case worker. Who will do a walk through again pointing out anything that needs to be changed depending on the age group you are interested in. You will be given more papers to fill out, they will go over the papers that you submitted to your Family Recruiter to further explain them see if there is anything you want to change. Make sure you schedule a physical with your doctor. You will meet with your case worker at least 2 additional times.
(6) Have to get ready and possibly change your schedule around for PRIDE training which is 9 sessions for 3 hours a night 2 nights a week.
(7) Finish up your home study and submit all the documentations that you need.
(8) Schedule your home inspection
I don't know what happens from here because i'm only in the PRIDE training section. So again I will update as I myself find out what is next.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Why
I need to come back and finish this. Things got to hectic today.
When I am asked the reason why I am adopting through the state I seem to hesitate and freeze. I don't know why because this is something that has always been in the back of my mind. Every year I watch Dave Thomas Foundations tv special called "A Home For The Holidays." I never realized how that would play a role into my decision or how helpful it would truly be. I can recall a time in Biology class when a girl talked about how many foster homes she had been in and how some are in it for the money. I didn't really understand or know what a foster home was. She said she had moved so many times but this placement was good because her foster mom actually cared for her, fed her, make sure she had clean clothes, and so on. I don't remember ever seeing anyone go through the adoption process either through foster care or otherwise. So when things weren't working with numerous doctors and procedures we took a break.. Some people will tell you "why don't you just adopt." Like a store exists Adoption r us where you go pick a child out and immediately bring him/her home. I remember not knowing or being well educated. Where do I begin? What if..... All kinds of things came to mind then I researched The Dave Thomas Foundation and talked it over with my husband. We said we are going to go until we can't go anymore. When you have been through so much to have a child you reach a point and say "what do I have to loose?" We aren't done and at times feel so far away from being approved. I heard from a social worker last night "we want you to succeed and be approved...." My stomach pains have gone away and my anxiety has been lifted for the moment. This is intense and I wonder how many "parents" would be able to complete this process.
When I am asked the reason why I am adopting through the state I seem to hesitate and freeze. I don't know why because this is something that has always been in the back of my mind. Every year I watch Dave Thomas Foundations tv special called "A Home For The Holidays." I never realized how that would play a role into my decision or how helpful it would truly be. I can recall a time in Biology class when a girl talked about how many foster homes she had been in and how some are in it for the money. I didn't really understand or know what a foster home was. She said she had moved so many times but this placement was good because her foster mom actually cared for her, fed her, make sure she had clean clothes, and so on. I don't remember ever seeing anyone go through the adoption process either through foster care or otherwise. So when things weren't working with numerous doctors and procedures we took a break.. Some people will tell you "why don't you just adopt." Like a store exists Adoption r us where you go pick a child out and immediately bring him/her home. I remember not knowing or being well educated. Where do I begin? What if..... All kinds of things came to mind then I researched The Dave Thomas Foundation and talked it over with my husband. We said we are going to go until we can't go anymore. When you have been through so much to have a child you reach a point and say "what do I have to loose?" We aren't done and at times feel so far away from being approved. I heard from a social worker last night "we want you to succeed and be approved...." My stomach pains have gone away and my anxiety has been lifted for the moment. This is intense and I wonder how many "parents" would be able to complete this process.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Thousand Years Lyrics and Video
Yes this maybe the video for Twlight but that isn't what it has meant to me. This was featured on 2011 Home for the Holidays. Children waiting for forever homes spoke as this song played in the background. One step closer.
Thousand Years Video
"A Thousand Years"
(from "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1" soundtrack)
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
One step closer
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Thousand Years Video
(from "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1" soundtrack)
Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone?
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
One step closer
One step closer
[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
So PRIDE training begins
It feels like an open course where yes you have a book and yes you have to cover material but you get to ask questions and discuss feelings. I remember our teacher telling us she expected us to behave like adults if we didn't share the same opinions as others. I find in life that can be so irritating when someone refuses to see anything but their way. If I didn't open up my world and see things in a different light I would not be going through this process with dyfs aka DCP&P. As I type this my scared terrified cat stormy is snuggled next to me. She leaped onto the couch and wanted a snuggle.
I saw this older type movie they make you show in the class. They had a candle lighting ceremony in the movie and I started to cry. It was cheezy and so exaggerated but still it stirred up things I haven't thought of in depth yet. The thought that someone's family has to be torn apart before my family can begin. Meaning that this child has birth parents and relatives that he/she maybe attached too. It was funny when every time she approached a topic she would say my name when she told the class not to panic about something. Saying it to me and using my name. I was told to not look at it from a stand point of breaking a family apart that the family is already broken. Whatever the reason maybe birth family is unable to care for the child and you are giving an opportunity to provide a stable loving environment.
Another guy in the class said it best the video was depressing and uplifting. This experience can be just that. I have felt overwhelmed, emotional, lost, hopeful, sad, and a mixture mass of emotions. Deep breathes talking it out and a good sleep help.
I saw this older type movie they make you show in the class. They had a candle lighting ceremony in the movie and I started to cry. It was cheezy and so exaggerated but still it stirred up things I haven't thought of in depth yet. The thought that someone's family has to be torn apart before my family can begin. Meaning that this child has birth parents and relatives that he/she maybe attached too. It was funny when every time she approached a topic she would say my name when she told the class not to panic about something. Saying it to me and using my name. I was told to not look at it from a stand point of breaking a family apart that the family is already broken. Whatever the reason maybe birth family is unable to care for the child and you are giving an opportunity to provide a stable loving environment.
Another guy in the class said it best the video was depressing and uplifting. This experience can be just that. I have felt overwhelmed, emotional, lost, hopeful, sad, and a mixture mass of emotions. Deep breathes talking it out and a good sleep help.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Bad News Day?
Sadly the day has been filled with bad news followed by more bad news. Even as I posted the video for Elton John "blessed" my phone rings with bad news. Headache people everyone has a problem that has to be addressed immediately. My head hurts. Is it time to go home yet? Pwease?
Blessed by Elton John
If you read the lyrics "you're still just dream." "I know your blessed and you you'll be blessed you'll have the best I promise you that I picked your star"
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